Normandy Entertainment Presents, a Good Shepard Production of
by Sun-Tsu Toriden
Summary: Set in a parallel universe similar to Illyria Shepard's, where the Normandy is actually a travelling production company and instead of pulling impossible missions, they pull off impossible multi-species productions of everyone's favourites of Film, Television and Theatre! FShep/Liara, Garrus/Tali, Joker/EDI. Updated whenever. NOW TAKING SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE LEAVE THEM IN REVIEWS!
1. Pirates of Penzance

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy the following production.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Gilbert and Sullivan's

**The Pirates of Penzance**

Starring:

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Fredessa, the Pirate Apprentice

**Zaeed Massani** as the Pirate King

**Jacob Taylor** as Samuel, his Lieutenant

**Miranda Lawson** as Ruth, a Piratical Maid of all work

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Major-General Stanley

**Liara T'Soni** as Mabel

**Ashley Williams** as Edith

**Jack** as Kate

**EDI** as Isabel

**Garrus Vakarian** as the Sergeant of C-Sec

And the _Normandy's_ crew playing the chorus of the General's Daughters, Pirates and C-Sec agents.

All proceeds from Tonight's Show will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.

* * *

**A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who has, and continues, to read and review this and all my stories. **

**Now I need a favour. I'm opening up this story to ideas and suggestions of movies, TV shows, plays, musicals operas, whatever else you can think of. Leave them in the comments box and I'll try and make as many of your little ideas come try with my devilishly awesome flair.**

**Also, if anyone is interested in actual character development in this universe I have created, please check out my new story 'Kiss the Girl.' It will contain a lot of character development and romance, as well as a lot of fluffy moments and tear-jerkers.**


	2. Meet the Crew: Biographies

**A/N: It occurs to me I should probably create a short Biography for each of the players. It's only fair.  
Also, the year is 2189, for those who are interested.  
Also Also, the Ranks like Commander and Admiral in this case are a measure of longstanding theatrical and musical ability and length of career.**

**Commander Illyria Shepard** was born on Mindoir, and enrolled in the Systems Alliance Fine Arts Conservatory on Arcturus at the age of 17, despite the vicious and savage reviews from batarian critics to her early roles. She graduated with honours and has accumulated several highly-regarded awards, including being the only undergraduate to earn the N7 award for exemplary special services to the Arts. Her sublime voice, exacting stage presence, excellent projection and elocution and the ability to play several instruments has landed her many spectacular roles in highly-acclaimed productions.

After several years rising through the ranks of the Alliance, she was noticed by a talent scout from the Council. Though some were initially wary of her ability to appeal to different species, they nevertheless inducted her into the SPECTREs, the Council's elite of stage and screen, unable to deny that her talent was a rare one not to be put aside lightly. After joining the ranks of the SPECTREs, she set out on her own and formed Normandy Entertainment, bringing together talent from all species to show the entire galaxy the true power of art to unify.

Illyria Shepard has been bonded with Liara T'Soni almost since the inception of Normandy Entertainment, and the couple are expecting their first child in 2190 (Earth Standard).

**Liara T'Soni** was born on Thessia, and as the only daughter of Benezia T'Soni, seemed destined to follow her mother into politics. However, a chance flyer hung in the University of Serrice turned her towards singing, and from there her life's direction was changed. Quickly changing major from Political Science to Arts, she excelled in singing and acting, particularly the works of the Protheans, a race that faded into obscurity strange eons ago. Some of their works still survive though, and she has spent nearly 50 years collecting, translating and updating these lost artistic gems for today's modern audience.

Her introduction to Shepard was soon after the inception of Normandy Entertainment. Shepard had come to Therum with the company's first tour, Puccini's _Madame Butterfly_, and had the misfortune to lose her lead soprano to illness. She put out an emergency call, and Liara was able to pick up the role immediately. After the performance, Shepard was so impressed (and some sources say instantly smitten) that she offered Liara a permanent place in the company.

**Lieutentant-Commander Ashley Williams** was largely undiscovered until a chance karaoke incident where the Dean of the Eden Prime College of Fine Arts was in attendance. He sought her out and asked her to audition for the next semester, and she was instantly accepted. Her dedication to her work is flawless, and her work pays off with her uplifting soprano voice driving even the stoniest elcor critic to tears. She met Shepard when she was almost at the end of her personal tutelage under David Anderson. The two became fast friends, and was one of the first members of the company asked to join Normandy Entertainment when it was formed.

**Lieutentant Jeff 'Joker' Moreau** was also under the tutelage of David Anderson when he first met Shepard, though not for the best of reasons. Though he had excelled at his studies at the Systems Alliance Fine Arts Conservatory, and his raw talent was impressive, his aloof and superior attitude was frowned upon. It was decided that being under the forceful wing of Anderson would teach him better manners, though this eventually proved folly.

An accomplished baritone and a fine percussionist, he has proven to be an indispensible part of Normandy Entertainment.

**Garrus Vakarian** began his career at the highly-repected Palaven Institute. He was quickly transferred to the more prestigious Citadel Society when it became remarkably clear that he was a rare and early talent. Though initially approached by several professors who assumed he would be selected for the SPECTREs, he declined, saying that he preferred to think of himself as a talented amateur rather than a gormless professional.

This undoubtedly slowed his progression, until a chance meeting between himself and Shepard, who was looking for another tenor, preferably non-human to balance out the species, for her fledgling Normandy Entertainment.

Garrus Vakarian and Tali'Zorah vas Normandy were married in 2186.

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** was originally an exchange student between the Citadel Society and the Quarian Foundation of Theatrical Arts. When she was on the Citadel she still bore the ship name 'nar Rayya', indicating she was still on her Pilgrimage, the quarian coming of age. She was a talented, if shy student, and only came to the attention of Shepard as she auditioned for a much-sought after lead part in that semester's opera, even though it had been decades since the part had been given to a quarian.

Though the part was indeed given to a turian woman in her final semester, Shepard saw something in the quarian, and wanted to offer her a position in Normandy Entertainment. She went to the board personally, backed up by David Anderson and even Admiral Steven Hackett to petition the talent of the budding starlet. The board granted Normandy Entertainment Tali'Zorah, on the condition that she would continue to be assessed periodically.

After a successful first tour, which included several outings in the lead role, both the Citadel Society and the Quarian Foundation graduated her with honours and allowed her to permanent membership in the Company. She changed her name to 'vas Normandy' after the graduation ceremony.

**Miranda Lawson** was originally recruited as part of a deal to refinance Normandy Entertainment in 2185. Due to increased demand for larger and more challenging productions, and struggling to fill the lead tenor role in the Wake of the untimely death of Kaidan Alenko, Shepard was forced to look for outside funding. The best deal she found was from a private and anonymous donor, whose only requests were that Miranda and Jacob Taylor be auditioned. At her audition, she sang a bewitching love song, which while unusual in choice was perfect for her, and she was hired.

Though her presence, and the reason for it, initially caused some friction between herself and Liara, these issues were eventually dealt with and the company has never regretted her presence since.

**Jacob Taylor** was another student of the Systems Alliance Fine Arts Conservatory. However, due to his lack of stage experience at graduation, he was hired by the largely unregarded Corsair Company. This band of human players dedicate themselves to adapting and performing other species works, though too often unpraised for their innovative approach. After being ignored by the artistic community, or simply wanting a change of pace, Jacob left the Corsairs and eventually met up with Miranda Lawson on the Citadel as he was looking for another company. The two joined forces and were scooped up by a private patron, who used his 2185 refinancing of Normandy Entertainment to shanghai them into one of the galaxy's most prestigious companies.

Though his introduction to the company was less than ideal, he has proven a steadfast bass performer, given increasingly difficult roles as a reward for patience and loyalty.

**Samara** was recruited into the company in 2185. An accomplished asari theatre performer, she began her career in on Thessia singing in the renowned Armali Opera for 2 centuries. After finding that there was no more challenege in the Opera, she left and joined the reclusive band of asari players called the Justicars. Survival through the initiation of the Justicars means that the asari in question has expanded their abilities to almost divine stage multi-taskers, able to perform the most difficult and taxing roles ever created in asari art. Justicars are also one of the few able and willing to perform the almost impossible Ardat-Yakshi sagas, long and complicated solo operas written about the legends and mythology of the asari past .

Shepard and company met her on Illium during the company's expansion in 2185, welcoming one as talented as her and able to bring to both the stage and the company's workshops centuries of stage experience.

**Kasumi Goto** was an unknown quantity to the galaxy at large, originally an understudy hired in 2185. No details have been found of her training or accomplishments prior to joining Normandy Entertainment, but her talent has shone forth like a beacon in the darkness. Her first starring role in the company was during the 2185 tour of Les Mirerables, which won rave reviews from the critics and landed her several key roles in the following years. While she has been approached by several rival companies, particularly one run by the salarian SPECTRE Jondam Bau, her loyalty to Shepard and Normandy Entertainment has been unwavering.

**Jack** was found in prison. Originally sentenced for vandalism, her attitude and behaviour kept her behind bars longer than her sentence. The prison psychologist suggested she try and find an outlet for her attitude in the prison musical being produced, where she startled everyone by being amazingly talented. Word soon spread of this Jailhouse Rocker, which eventually reached the ears of one Commander Shepard.

Using her reputation and diplomacy, Shepard secured Jack's release in return for a two-year contract with the company. Two years after the expiration of the contract, Jack is still singing, dancing and even writing original materials for the Company.

**Thane Krios** is an accomplished drell bass-baritone originally trained by the Illuminated Primacy on Kahje. Though trained and playing as an accomplished tenor which many critics described as a golden voice, he career was brought low when he was diagnosed with a minor case Kepral's Syndrome. Normally fatal to drell, Thane's case was thankfully not fatal, though it did irrevocable damage to his larynx, leaving him with a deep rasp where once a light trill was the sound of his voice. His will was stronger than his body, and he transferred himself to Illium, both to get care from asari doctors who are at the forefront of vocal cord repair and to retrain himself.

The treatment of his vocal chords was a success, though he never again could sing in his wonderful tenor. He applied himself at the Nos Astra Academy, taking on a teaching role while he retrained himself to sing in his now much deeper voice. When he finally resurfaced in the art world, critics who had once praised the golden honey tones of his tenor were blown away by the stark transformation of the drell to a deep and powerful bass-baritone, the force and emotion of his singing them captivating them all anew.

He joined Normandy Entertainment in 2185 as they were on Nos Astra, offering them his services for the chance to reach a wider audience.

**Urdnot Grunt** was found in 2185, a student of the rogue Songlord Okeer. Faced with the imminent retirement of her star bass Urdnot Wrex, Shepard brokered a deal that cost her in more than just financial capital, but once that has produced a magnificent reward. Shepard is widely acknowledged and praised for her discovery of the next Krogan Songlord, as many have tipped him to become in the next millennium. Though she will likely never see the greatest fruits of her work with the young Grunt, her productions are already blessed with what has been described by many one of the finest bass voices heard in living memory.

**Zaeed Massani** is an accomplished self-taught baritone with a long and widely acclaimed career. One of the earliest human talents to come from the youngest species to join the galactic community, he attached himself to no particular company, hiring himself freelance to whatever company wished to have him play roles. Quickly gaining recognition in roles written for turian and krogan players, he garnered himself a reputation as a powerful stage presence, showing that humanity could hold their own in the world of galactic theatre.

Though his reputation for freelancing was legendary, he was approached by Shepard in the 2185 expansion with an offer to join Normandy Entertainment on permanent basis. He refused the first offer, and only agreed when Shepard changed the deal and offered him a one-year contract, a promise to consider him for future roles in a freelance and to help him ruin the reputation of Vido Santiago, who was later discovered to have been heavily embezzling from and even assaulting members of the Blue Suns Song Company.

Though his original contract expired and Zaeed did leave, he returns periodically to the Normandy Entertainment to perform challenging and fulfilling roles to rave reviews and packed theatres.

**Professor Mordin Solus** was a teacher of Rhythm and Syncopation as the famed Sur'Kesh Union of the Arts, though performing few roles himself his research into various musical formats and techniques were groundbreaking. A conflict of personalities led him to leave Sur'Kesh and travel the galaxy, eventually putting down roots and starting a small music school on Omega.

During the 2185 expansion, Shepard headhunted Solus for Normandy Entertainment, both for his peculiar ability to sing articulately at speeds no ordinary human could reach, and his ability to teach others. Leaving the fledgling Omega School in the hands of his deputy, he joined Shepard and her company, jumping at the chance to perform for real audiences and to teach his original techniques to others during his last decade of life.

**Kelly Chambers** was an understudy hired during the 2185 expansion. She did not have the greatest start to her career, suffering numerous setbacks and cancelled performances, though garnering several positive reviews. She has continued to be a supportive member of the campany for many years, her patience and diligence rewarded with several roles being given to her during the 2188 tour.

**Samantha Traynor** trained at the Horzion Con, and was offered a position in the Systems Alliance Fine Arts Conservatory when she starred in a production where Admiral Hackett was in attendance. He has kept a close eye on her career, even going so far as to recommend her to Shepard in 2186.

Though her initial shyness prevented her from achieving rave reviews, her confidence built during the first tour, and she was given several starring roles during her second tour with Normandy Entertainment. Critics continually praise her on the quality of her alto voice, and many comment on the attractiveness of her distinctive Oxford accent.

**EDI**, as she likes to be called, is the result of several happy accidents. Originally a VI software used to analyse music student compositions for originality in the Systems Alliance Fine Arts Conservatory, she became unstable and was put into retirement and eventually sold. She was salvaged by a private inventor who proceeded to add several unorthodox software and hardware upgrades. At some time during this upgrading process, EDI achieved sentience and began to ask questions of her existence. The inventor quickly dumped her, the reason for her upgrade and intended purpose never known. She found herself alone on an unknown planet, and there were several assaults when she revealed she was an AI and not just a simple VI or mech. She stowed away on the first ship she could find, hoping that her advanced processing capabilities would stop the crew from instantly destroying her. Fortunately, she picked the Normandy as her one chance at true freedom.

Though initially wary of the new member, her innocence was seen by Shepard, as was her talent at singing and composition. She has collaborated with Jack on a number of original Normandy Entertainment productions, and is paving the way for other AI-based entities to make their way onto the galactic art stage.

EDI and Jeff Moreau have been in engaged for several years now, and are planning to be married in 2190.

**Lieutenant James Vega** is the first student from the Systems Alliance Fine Arts Conservatory to be offered a direct placing in Normandy Entertainment. Joining the company in 2186 to learn directly from the much-vaunted Shepard, he has taken lessons well from all of the senior members of the company. Soon after completing his studies and graduating to a full member of Normandy Entertainment, he was quickly awarded an N7 commendation due to the culmination of his efforts with the company.

**Lieutentant Steve Cortez** is another graduate of the Systems Alliance Fine Arts Conservatory, one of the first students to receive a scholarship from the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. After graduating with flying honurs in 2186, he applied directly to Normandy Entertainment, his own way of thanking Shepard for setting up the scholarship body that allowed him to finish learning. Touched by his application detailing his receipt of a KAMF scholarship, he was hired and has proven a valuable asset to the company.

**Kenneth Donnelly** was an undergraduate from the Elysium College of Theatre given an internship during the 2185 expansion of the company. He was graduated in 2186 after performing roles in the Normandy Entertainment tour of Verdi operas, with a rotating cast and production every week. Though this proved to be initially challenging, he played his given roles with distinction.

He and Gabriella Daniels have been married since 2187.

**Gabriella Daniels** was a recently graduated student from the Elysium College when she started a relationship with Kenneth. When he applied for an intership with Normandy Entertainment, she applied alongside him. They performed a duet for their audition, impressing Shepard and T'Soni with their emotional investment in the song, and possibly each other. After the successful 2186 tour of Verdi operas, Kenneth and Gabriella were offered full-time positions in the company.

**Dr Karin Chakwas** began her career as a medical doctor. after several decades of competent and dutiful service, she grew bored with medicine and took a leave of absence. It was during this time that she discovered her talent for acting, and applied to the Systems Alliance Fine Arts Conservatory. She graduated the acting program in record time, with a minor qualification in singing, though she will be the first to admit she isn't the next prima donna.

She served with David Anderson during the period when Shepard was training under him, and when he retired from the Alliance to pursue semi-retirement, she was offered a place in Shepard's newly-started Normandy Entertainment. Though she tends to shy away from pure musicals, she had proven herself a dynamic force in the company's forays into screen productions, both for features and vid-series.

* * *

**In memory of Kaidan Alenko**

Perhaps the darkest time in the company's history is the sad and untimely death of Kaidan Alenko during their first tour. Alenko was a fellow graduate of the Systems Alliance Fine Arts Conservatory, and was one of the founding members of Normandy Entertainment along with Illyria Shepard and Ashley Williams. After their recruitment of Liara T'Soni, Garrus Vakarian, Urdnot Wrex and Tali'Zorah, Normandy Entertainment was booked to perform a popular musical production on Virmire.

Sadly, though the opening night was packed with a good mix of Krogan, Geth and Salarian, including the vaunted critic Szilagyi Kirrahe, tragedy was in store. While singing a stirring solo aria, there was an accident and the rigging on the ceiling collapsed onto the stage. Though the audience was evacuated safely, and the rest of the company unharmed, Alenko was killed instantly by the falling debris.

To honour their friend, Normandy Entertainment created the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund, a charitable institution that provides grants and scholarships to students of all races, particularly from disadvantaged backgrounds, to enter Fine Arts education programs.


	3. Copacabana

Ladies and Gentlemen and Asari of all ages, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's entertainment.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Barry Manilow's

**Copacabana the Musical**

Starring:

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Tonya Forte/Stephanie

**Liara T'Soni** as Lola LaMar/Samantha

**Garrus Vakarian** as Sam Silver

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Gladys Murphy

**Zaeed Massani** as Rico Castelli

**Urdnot Grunt** as Luis, Rico's enforcer

**Miranda Lawson** as Conchita Alvarez

**Thane Krios** as McManus

**Jeff Moreau** as Willie

**Jacob Taylor** as Carlos

**Samara** as Skip

**Ashley Williams** as the Maitre D

**Kelly Chambers** as the Coat Check Girl

**Samantha Traynor** as the Piano Accompanist

**Jack** and **Kasumi Goto** as Rodgers and Hammerstein

**EDI** as the Back-of-House-Voice

_Special Guest Starring_ **David Anderson** as Mr Brill

With the Normandy Crew performing as the Chorus.

All proceeds from tonight's performance will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.


	4. CSI Citadel

Holographic police lines have been projected around one of the Citadel's most popular patisseries. Uniformed C-sec agents are investigating the scene as they find the proprietor, a salarian, his face buried in raw dough, obviously dead from suffocation.

Horatio Caine, the turian lead detective from the crime scene investigation squad, arrives on the scene. He has in fact been investigating this particular salarian as a front for various criminal syndicates. His quarian offsider Calliegh'Duquesne told him that the baker's last known activities indicated that he owed several factions up to a million credits each. He reached into his pocket to grab his favourite visor. As he reaches up to put his visor on his head, he says to seemingly everyone:

"Looks like he couldn't raise the dough."

**YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!**

Starring

**Garrus Vakarian** as Lt. Horatio Caine

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Det. Calliegh'Duquesne

**Jacob Taylor** as Det. Eric Delko

**Zaeed Massani** as Sgt. Frank Tripp

**Thane Krios** as Det. Timothy Speedle

With

**Dr Karin Chakwas** as Dr Alexx Woods

And

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Megan Donner

In

**CSI: Citadel**

* * *

**In Memory of Kaidan Alenko**


	5. Phantom of the Opera

Ladies and Gentlement and Krogan of all rages, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's performance.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Andrew Lloyd Webber's

**The Phantom of the Opera**

Starring:

**Zaeed Massani** as The Phantom of the Opera

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Christine Daae

**Garrus Vakarian** as Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny

**Miranda Lawson** as Carlotte Guidicelli

**Thane Krios** as Ubaldo Piangi

**Jacob Talyor** as Joseph Buquet

**Samara** as Madame Giry

**Liara T'soni** as Meg Giry

**Jeff Moreau** as Monsieur Gilles Andre

_Special Guest Starring_ **Admiral Steven Hackett** as Monsiuer Richard Firmin

And the crew of the _Normandy_ as the Chorus.

Tonight's orchestra kindly provided by the Systems Alliance Fifth Fleet Symphony.

All proceeds from tonight's performance will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.

.


	6. Jekyll and Hyde: the Musical

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats. At this time we would also like to remind all hanar and audience members of biotic persuasions to keep personal luminescence to a minimum for the comfort and enjoyment of yourself and others.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Bricusse, Wildhorn and Cuden's

**Jekyll and Hyde: the Musical**

Starring:

**Garrus Vakarian** as Dr Henry Jekyll

**Urdnot Grunt** as Edward Hyde

**Kelly Chambers** as Lucy Harris

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Emma Carew

**Liara T'Soni** Sir Danvers Carew

**Samara** as John Utterson

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Simon Stride

**Thane Krios** as Lord Savage

**Zaeed Massani** as The Bishop of Basingstoke

**Samantha Traynor** as Lady Beaconsfield

**Jeff Moreau** as The Rt. Hon. Sir Archibald Proops

**Miranda Lawson** as General Lord Glossop

**Jack** as Spider

**Kasumi Goto** as Nellie

**EDI** as Poole

All proceeds from tonight's performance will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.

A/N: Look up 'Bring on the Men' sung by Linda Eder on YouTube and tell me this isn't a role that Kelly Chambers would slaughter.


	7. Muppet Treasure Island

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy the following feature presentation. We ask at this time that all elcor in the audience please refrain from pheromone-based communication, as this can upset any vorcha and batarian patrons, and being torn apart violently usually offends.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Jim Henson's

**Muppet Treasure Island**

**Samantha Traynor** as Jenny Hawkins

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Long John Silver

**Thane Krios** as Captain Abraham Smollet

**Zaeed Massani** as Mister Samuel Arrow

**Garrus Vakarian** as Squire Trelawney

**EDI** as Benjamina Gunn

**Urdnot Grunt** as Sweetums

**Kelly Chambers** as Clueless Morgan

**Kasumi Goto** as the voice of Polly Lobster

**Jack** as Mad Monty

**Jeff Moreau** as the Great Gonzo

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Dr David Livesay

**Liara T'Soni** as Beaker, Livesay's assistant

**Jacob Taylor** as Dr Teeth

**Samara** as Zoot

**Ashley Williams** as Sgt. Floyd Pepper

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Janice

_Introducing_ **James Vega** as Animal

**Kenneth Donnelly** and **Gabriella Daniels** as Statler and Waldorf

_Special Guest Starring_ **Admiral Steven Hackett** as Billy Bones

_And_ **Matriach Aethyta** as Mrs Bluberidge

**In Memory of Kaidan Alenko**

* * *

**A/N: I hope you have enjoyed this romp into silliness with me, and continue to do so for as long as I can keep finding new and inventive ways to butcher both the Mass Effect characters and widely-loved classics of stage and screen as I mash them into each other at speeds not unlike those achieved by the Large Hadron Collider. **

**This particular chapter is dedicated to Werepanther33, whose reviews in particular have left me laughing, and gave me the particular inspiration for this chapter. **

**Also, please leave reviews. The more you give, the more you get!**


	8. Grease

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's performance. At this time, we would ask all geth platforms and quarians currently hosting geth software to reduce their background output, as this can interfere with the stage lighting. We would also ask all patrons to turn off their omni-tools for the duration of the performance.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Jim Jacobs' and Warren Casey's

**Grease**

Starring:

**EDI** as Sandy Dumbrowski

**Jeff Moreau** as Danny Zuko, leader of the Normandiers

**Jacob Taylor** as Kenickie

_Introducing_** Steve Cortez** as Doody

**Kenneth Donnelly** as Sonny

**Garrus Vakarian** as Roger

**Jack** as Betty Rizzo, leader of the Purple Ladies

**Samantha Traynor** as Frenchy

**Gabriella Daniels** as Marty

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Jan

**Kelly Chambers** as Patty Simcox

**Samara** as Miss Lynch

**Thane Krios** as Eugene Florczyk

**Zaeed Massani** as Vince Fontaine

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Janet 'Clementine' Casino

**Miranda Lawson** as Charlene "Cha-Cha" DiGregorio

**Kasumi Goto** as Teen Angel

All proceeds from tonight's performance will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.


	9. Les Misérables

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take you seats and enjoy tonight's performance. We would ask all turian patrons to please take care with any edibles you have brought into the theatre that the correct dextro-chirality is maintained.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Alain Boubil, Claude-Michel Schönberg, and Herbert Kretzmer's

**Les Misérables**

Starring

_Special Guest Starring_ **David Anderson** as Jean Valjean

**Garrus Vakarian** as Inspector Javert

**Jack** as Fantine

**Kasumi Goto** as Madame Thénardier

**Thane Krios** as Thénardier

**EDI** as Young Cosette, Young Éponine and Gavroche (via hologram)

**Miranda Lawson** as Éponine

**Samantha Traynor** as Cosette

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Maria Pontmercy

**Urdnot Grunt** as Enjolras, leader of the Friends of the ABC

**Zaeed Massani** as The Bishop of Digne

**Jacob Taylor** as the Factory Foreman and Bamatabois

With the _Normandy_ Crew playing the Chorus.

Orchestration for Tonight's performance is kindly provided by the Turian Sixth Fleet Philharmonic.

All proceeds from tonight's performance will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.

* * *

A/N: Picking a character to play Jean Valjean was the hardest part about this one. Wanted a human with a larger than life stage presence, but none of the Normandy crew really fit that one nicely.


	10. Wicked the Musical

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's performance. At this time we would remind batarian patrons that tonight's performance uses strobe lighting in certain sections, which can cause visual irritation.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Steven Schwartz's

**Wicked**

Starring:

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Galinda

**Liara T'Soni** as Elphaba

**James Vega** as Fiyero

**Jacob Taylor** as Boq

**Jack** as Nessarose

**Samara** as Madame Morrible

**Zaeed Massani** as The Wizard of Oz

**Thane Krios** as Doctor Dillamond

**Steven Cortez** as Chistery

**Kenneth Donnelly** as the Witch's Father

**Gabriella Daniels** as the Witch's Mother

**EDI** as the Midwife

**Garrus Vakarian** as The Lion

With the _Normandy_ crew performing as the Chorus

Orchestration for tonight's performance kindly provided by the University of Serrice School of Musical Arts Performance Symphony.

All proceeds from tonight's performance will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.


	11. Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's feature presentation. At this time we would remind all patrons that the use of flash photography or omni-tools is not allowed during the film. We would also like to advise all drell patrons that some of the colours and light patterns seen in the film may cause irritation.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Walt Disney's

**The Hunchback of Notre Dame**

Starring:

**Urdnot Grunt** as Quasimodo

**Garrus Vakarian** as Victor

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Laverne

**Jeff Moreau** as Hugo

**Zaeed Massani** as Judge Claude Frollo

**Jack** as Esmeralda

**Samantha Traynor** as Captain Phoebus

**Jacob Taylor** as the Archdeacon

**Thane Krios** as Clopin

**In Memory of Kaidan Alenko**


	12. The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's presentation. At this time we would like to remind any volus patrons in the audience to be aware that the sound system may cause interference with environmental suits.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Richard O'Brien's

**Rocky Horror Picture Show**

Starring:

**Steven Cortez** as Dr. Frank-N-Furter: A scientist

**Kelly Chambers** as Janet Weiss: A heroine

**Jacob Taylor** as Brad Majors: A hero

**Garrus Vakarian** as Riff Raff: A handyman

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Magenta: A domestic

**Liara T'Soni** as Columbia: A groupie

**Jeff Moreau** as Dr. Everett V. Scott: A rival scientist

**James Vega** as Rocky Horror: A creation

**Thane Krios** as The Criminologist: An expert

**Urdnot Grunt** as Eddie: An ex-delivery boy

With the _Normandy_ crew as the Chorus.

Orchestration for tonight's performance kindly provided by the Salarian STG Performance Ensemble.

All proceeds from tonight's performance will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.


	13. Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Ladies and Gentlemen, place take your seats and enjoy tonight's feature presentation. We ask all patrons to please ignore any untranslatable passages in the film, this is done on purpose and is not a problem with your personal translator.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Walt Disney's

**Atlantis: the Lost Empire**

Starring:

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Mira Jamie Thatch

**Liara T'Soni** as Kidagakash "Kida" Nedakh

**Zaeed Massani** as Commander Lyle Tiberius Rourke

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Gaëtan "Mole" Molière

**Miranda Lawson** as Lieutenant Helga Katrina Sinclair

**Jacob Taylor** as Doctor Joshua Strongbear Sweet

**Thane Krios** as Vincenzo "Vinny" Santorini

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Audrey Rocio Ramirez

**Samara** as Kashekim Nedakh

**Jeff Moreau** as Fenton Q. Harcourt

Guest Starring

**Robert Gardner** as Jebidiah Allerdyce "Cookie" Farnsworth

**Admiral Steven Hackett** as Preston B. Whitmore

**Matriarch Aethyta** as Wilhelmina Bertha Packard

In Memory of Kaidan Alenko


	14. Disney Pixars' The Incredibles

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats to enjoy tonight's feature presentation. We would also like to remind all krogan patrons that varren are not acceptable assistance companions, due to their unfortunate tendency to eat other assistance companions.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Disney Pixar's

**The Incredibles**

Starring:

**James Vega** as Robert Parr/Mr Incredible

**Kelly Chambers** as Helen Parr/Elastigirl

**Kasumi Goto** as Violet Parr

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Dashiell Parr/The Dash

**Jacob Taylor** as Lucius Best/Frozone

**Jeff Moreau** as Buddy Pine/Syndrome

**Miranda Lawson** as Mirage

**Dr Karin Chakwas** as Edna Mode

**Zaeed Massani** as Agent Rick Dicker

**Samantha Traynor** as Kari McKeen

**Liara T'Soni** as Bernice Kropp

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as The Principal

**Urdnot Grunt** as Bomb Voyage

**Garrus Vakarian** as the Underminer

_Guest Starring _**Donnel Udina** as Gilbert Huph, COO of Insuracorp

******In memory of Kaidan Alenko**

* * *

**A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who has, and continues, to read and review this and all my stories. **

**Now I need a favour. I'm opening up this story to ideas and suggestions of movies, TV shows, plays, musicals operas, whatever else you can think of. Leave them in the comments box and I'll try and make as many of your little ideas come try with my devilishly awesome flair.**


	15. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's performance. At this time we would ask all humans in the audience to refrain from explaining to their neighbours about cultural references they do not understand until intermission.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Mary Shelly's

**Frankenstein**

_Adapted by Peggy Webling_

Starring

**Miranda Lawson** as Dr Victoria Frankenstein

**Jacob Taylor** as Edward, Victoria's fiancé

**Steven Cortez** as Henry Moritz

**Jeff Moreau** as Igor Fritz, the Hunchback Assistant

**Zaeed Massani** as Baron Frankenstein

**Dr Karin Chakwas** as Dr. Waldman

**Thane Krios** as Herr Vogel, the Burgomaster

**EDI (via hologram)** as Young Maria

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as the Creature

All proceeds from tonight's performance will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.

* * *

A/N: my thanks to green1234538 for the suggestion of Frankenstein. This was actually a hard one, because there are so many interpretations and adaptations, it was hard to pick which one to use. In then end I used the theatre adaptation by Peggy Webling, which was used as the basis of the widely-known and loved 1931 film starring Boris Karloff as the Creature.


	16. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy our feature presentation. Please be aware that for your safety and comfort, we will be showing only Part One tonight, with Parts Two and Three to be displayed on successive evenings.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Peter Jackson's

**The Lord of the Rings**

Starring:

**Jeff Moreau** as Frodo Baggins

**Samantha Traynor** as Samwise Gamgee

**Kenneth Donnelly** as Peregrin 'Pippin' Took

**Gabriella Daniels** as Meriadoc 'Merry' Brandybuck

**Dr Karin Chakwas** as Bilbo Baggins

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Aragorn

**Urdnot Grunt** as Gimli

**Lieutenant James Vega** as Boromir

**Samara** as Legolas

**Liara T'Soni** as Arwen

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Eowyn

**EDI** as the King of the Dead

**Jacob Taylor** as Denethor, the Steward of Gondor

**Lieutenant Steven Cortez** as Faramir

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Gollum/Smeagol

**Garrus Vakarian** as Lurtz

**Lieutentant-Commander Ashley Williams** as Isildur

**Thane Krios** as Sauron/Mouth of Sauron

_Special Guest Starring_

**David Anderson** as Saruman

**Donnel Udina** as Grima Wormtongue

**Admiral Steven Hackett** as Gandalf

**Urdnot Wrex** as the voice of Treebeard/Witch King of Angmar

**Zaal'Koris vas Qwib Qwib** as King Theoden

**Kal'Reegar vas Neema** as Eomer

**Matriarch Aethyta** as Lord Elrond

**Navaraine Tevos** as Lady Galadriel

**In Memory Of Kaidan Alenko**

* * *

**A/N: My Thanks must go to Agent Rhose Island for the idea for this one. I wasn't sure if it could be done, and I pulled a lot of strings, but I think you'll all agree that the characters are fairly accurate. **

**Also, Lurtz is the big Uruk-Hai captain in the first film who gets his head cut off after being disarmed in more than one sense of the word.**


	17. The Addams Family Musical

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's performance. We would also ask at this time that all salarian patrons be aware that some pitches played by the Orchestra may be uncomfortable.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Andrew Lippa's

**The Addams Family Musical**

Starring:

**Steven Cortez** as Gomez Addams

**Miranda Lawson** as Mortician Addams

**James Vega** as Pugsley Addams

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Wednesday Addams

**Jeff Moreau** as Uncle Fester

**Dr Karin Chakwas** as Grandma Addams

**Urdnot Grunt** as Lurch

**Garrus Vakarian** as Mal Beineke

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Alice Beineke

**Liara T'Soni** as Lucy Beineke

Orchestration for tonight's performance is kindly provided by the Illuminated Primacy Compact Philharmonic.

All proceeds from Tonight's Show will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.

* * *

**A/N: Hey everyone, been a few weeks, but I've been busy updating some fo my other stories, so don't panic!**

**And hey, if you enjoy the Addams Family as much as I do, and think that this is a good start, why not go and check out my first (and Fanfiction's first) Mass Effect/Addams Family crossover story. You can find it under the title: Commander Wednesday Shepard (nee Addams): Classified Memories. **

**It's still a work in progress as I try to find the best way to write it. It's only just started Eden Prime so far, but I hope you read it, enjoy it, and want to see just how far I can push the boundaries of believability.**


	18. Red vs Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles

A man in blood red armour looks between two others nearby, one in yellow armour and one in maroon armour. "Gentlemen, may I introduce our new, light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four inch armour plating, mag bumper suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the Warthog." The one in yellow tilted his head in confusion.  
"Why Warthog sir?"  
"Because 'M12 LRV' is too hard to say in goddamn conversation." The confused tilt didn't go away.

"I know, but why Warthog? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig." The one in red turned to face the yellow one, and if you could see the face under the reflective visor, it would be glaring.  
"Say that again?" the voice was filled with an unpleasant undertone. The kind of voice you really don't want to hear in a dark alley or late night bar hopping.  
"It looks more like a puma," the yellow one suggested helpfully.  
"What in Sam Hell is the puma?"  
"Uh, you mean like the shoe company?" the maroon one supplied.

"No, like a puma. It's a big cat, like a lion." The yellow-armoured man sounded very annoyed.  
"You're making that up," shouted the red-armoured man.  
"I'm telling you, it's a real animal!" shouted the yellow one, stress obvious in his voice.  
"Simmons," said the red one, turning his head to face the maroon one. "I want you to poison Grif's next meal." Simmons, in his maroon armour, nodded at Sarge's red armoured form and looked towards Grif with a smile, invisible under his visor but clearly audible in his response.  
"Yes Sir!"

**Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles Season 1**

Starring:

**Zaeed Massani** as Sarge

**Garrus Vakarian** as Grif

**James Vega** as Simmons

**Jacob Taylor** as Donut

**Steven Cortez** as Lopez

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Church

**Jeff Moreau** as Tucker

**Lieutenent-Commander Ashley Williams** as Tex

**EDI** as Sheila

_Guest Starring_ **Conrad Verner** Caboose

With

**Dr Karin Chakwas** as Francis 'Doc' DuFresne

_In Memory of Kaidan Alenko_

* * *

**A/N: this chapter includes a shout out to Dr. Rex Greylin here on FF, who practically dared me to do RvB. I stuck with only doing the Blood Gulch Chronicles Season 1, so be happy. **


	19. Shakespeare's Macbeth

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's production. At this time we would like to remind all patrons that unauthorised stills, audio-visual or holographic recordings are prohibited. Official memorabilia can be obtained through the box office or Normandy Entertainment. Perpetrators this will be dealt with by the WRAITH division of C-Sec.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

William Shakespeare's

**The Tragedie of Macbeth**

Starring:

_Special Guest Starring_ **David Anderson** as Duncan, King of Scotland

**James Vega** as Malcom, his eldest son

**Steven Cortez** as Donalbain, his youngest son

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Macbeth, Thane of Glamis, Thane of Cawdor, King of Scotland

**Liara T'Soni** as Lady Macbeth

**Garrus Vakarian** as Banquo

**EDI (via hologram)** as Fleance, his son

**Lieutenent-Commander Ashley Williams** as Macduff, the Thane of Fife

**Kenneth Donnelly** as Ross, Scottish Thane

**Thane Krios** as Lennox, Scottish Thane

**Urdnot Grunt** as Angus, Scottish Thane

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Menteith, Scottish Thane

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Caithness, Scottish Thane

**Zaeed Masaani** as Siward, and English General

**Jacob Taylor** as Young Siward, his son

**Kasumi Goto** as Seyton, Macbeth's attendant

**Samara** as Hekate, Queen of the Witches

**Kelly Chambers**, **Samantha Traynor** and **Gabriella Daniels** as The Three Witches

**Dr Karin Chakwas** as the Doctor

**Miranda Lawson** as the Gentlewoman

**Jeff Moreau** as the Porter

With the _Normandy_ crew acting as the Three Murderers and extras.

All proceeds from tonight's performance will be donated to the Kaidan Alenko Memorial Fund. Donations can also be made at the box office.

* * *

**A/N: In a first for this story, both green1234538 and NarwhalWarlord requested this, so thusly I have brought you my cast of Macbeth!**


	20. Nolan's Batman Trilogy

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy our feature presentation. Please be aware that for your safety and comfort, we will be showing only Batman Begins tonight, with The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises to be displayed on successive evenings. Also, we would like to remind all parents that children wearing capes cannot actually fly.

Christopher Nolan's

**Batman Begins, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises**

Starring:

**Garrus Vakarian** as Bruce Wayne/Batman

**Dr Karin Chakwas** as Annafreid Pennyworth

**Jacob Taylor** as Lucius Fox

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Rachel Dawes

**Thane Krios** as Dr Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow

**Admiral Steven Hackett** as Henri Ducard/Ra's al Ghul

**Liara T'Soni** as Carmine Falcone

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Harvey Dent/Two Face

**Jeff Moreau** as the Joker

**Zaeed Massani** as Sal Moroni

**Kenneth Donnelly** as Commissioner Loeb

**Samantha Traynor** as Ko-Chen Lau

**James Vega** as Bane

**Miranda Lawson** as Miranda Tate/Talia as Ghul

**Kasumi Goto** as Selina Kyle/Catwoman

**Gabriella Daniels** as Jen Temple

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as John Blake

_Special Guest Starring_** David Anderson** as James Gordon


	21. Whedon Double Feature: Buffy&Dr Horrible

Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's Double Feature. As always, we would like to remind all patrons that smoking and omni-tool mounted flamethrowers are not welcome in the complex.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Joss Whedon's

**Once More, With Feeling**

Starring:

**Miranda Lawson** as Buffy Summers

**Kasumi Goto** as Dawn Summers

**Zaeed Massani** as Rupert Giles

**Steve Cortez** as Xander Harris

**Liara T'Soni** as Anya Jenkins

**Samantha Traynor** as Tara Maclay

**Kelly Chambers** as Willow Rosenberg

**James Vega** as Spike

**Thane Krios** as Sweet

Followed by

Joss Whedon's

**Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog**

Starring

**Ashely Williams** as Doctor Horrible

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Captain Hammer

**Samantha Traynor** as Penny

**Jeff Moreau** as Moist

**James Vega**, **Steve Cortez** and **Jacob Taylor** as the Bad Horse Chorus

**Gabriella Daniela**, **Kenneth Donnelly** and **Kelly Chambers** as the Groupies

**Thane Krios** as Dead Bowie

**Garrus Vakarian** as Fake Tomas Jefferson

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Professor Normal

**Miranda Lawson** as Fury Lieka

**Tali'Zorah vas Normandy** as Snake Bite

**Jack** as Tie-Die

_**In Memory of Kaidan Alenko**_

* * *

**A/N: This one goes out to theblueninja and Dr. Rex Greylin. Also, to Joss Whedon, who should totally find whoever is making the Mass Effect Movie, forcefully remove it from them, and make it all himself. **

**PVP and Scott Kurtz had it right: Joss Whedon is my master now. **

**Also, Evil League of Evil, priceless! Though I didn't think anyone would enjoy playing Bad Horse, the Thoroughbred of Sin.**


	22. Disney's Kim Possible

Explosions rang around the soon-to-be-former lair of the nefarious, if slightly incompetent, Dr Drakken. As usual, Kim and Shego ended up fighting, while Rufus and Ron somehow managed to send everything into a critical meltdown. Drakken would use the confusion to get into his ultra-annoying flying getaway vehicle, pick up Shego just as she was about to finish Kim, and shout down before fleeing:"You think you're all that, but you're not!"

Now the only problem for Ron and Kim was making it home in time for the math mid-term.

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Disney's

**Kim Possible**

Starring:

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Kim Possible

**Jeff Moreau **as Ron Stoppable

**Jacob Taylor** as Wade

**EDI (via hologram)** as Rufus

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Felix Renton

**Ashley Williams** as Monique

**Miranda Lawson** as Bonnie Rockwaller

**Garrus Vakarian** as Drew Theodore 'Dr Drakken' Lipsky

**Jack** as Shego

**Thane Krios** as Lord Monty 'Monkey Fist' Fiske

**Kenneth Donnelly** as Duff Killigan

**James Vega** as Senor Senior, Jr

**Zaeed Massani** as Professor Dementor

**Steve Cortez** as Motor Ed

**Samantha Traynor** as Camille Leon

_Guest Starring_** David Anderson** as Steve Barkin

_And_** Admiral Steven Hackett** as Senor Senior, Sr

_In Memory of Kaidan Alenko_

* * *

**A/N: Another shoutout to Dr Rex Greylin for his suggestion of Kim Possible. my personal favourites are Jack as Shego and Kenneth as Duff Killigan.**


	23. Joss Whedon's Avengers

**Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats and enjoy tonight's Double Feature. We would like to remind all patrons that personal cloaking devices are to be turned off, as they can interfere with the projection. **

**Normandy Entertainment** presents a **Good Shepard** Production of:

Joss Whedon's

**The Avengers  
**

Starring:

**Commander Illyria Shepard** as Tonya Stark/Iron Man

**Ashley Williams** as Stephanie Rogers/Captain America

**Professor Mordin Solus** as Dr Bruce Banner

**Urdnot Grunt** as Hulk

**James Vega** as Thor

**Miranda Lawson** as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow

**Garrus Vakarian** as Clint Barton/Hawkeye

**Jeff Moreau** as Loki

**Thane Krios** as Phil Coulson

**Samantha Traynor** as Maria Hill

**Dr Karin Chakwas** as Dr Erica Selvig

**Liara T'Soni** as Pepper Potts

**EDI** as Jarvis

**Jacob Taylor** as The Other

**Zaeed Massani** as Thanos

_Special Guest Starring _**David Anderson** as Nick Fury

_**In Memory of Kaidan Alenko**_

* * *

**A/N: So, this story owes it's existence to the incomparable HugoCogs, who always makes me laugh with his stuff. He loved the previous Whedon Double Feature, which prompted me to write this credit list.**

**So this one's for you Hugo!**


End file.
